so friday night, the boy and i went out to dinner with one of his friends for said friend's 20th birthday. of 14 or so people at the dinner, a grand total of 3 were straight - 4, if you count me in my long-term heterosexual relationship. the remainder were either gayboys who work for apple or gayboys who go to stanford. it was an extremely amusing gathering, but it made me miss quite a bit. first and most associatively obvious, i miss my fabulous gayboy friends, particularly scott and most specifically me and scott breaking sam's brain that one evening on the couch. next, i miss that part of my circle of friends that in my head falls into the category of cheerfully lascivious - granted this is most of king house, but also some friends from highschool and one long-lost gothindustrial from bryn mawr - lilith sprague, where are you? also i miss my rovie-monster, particularly as the evening went on and some of the boys started getting lovey dovey and i really wanted a neck to chew on andor flashing neon signs andor parcheesi. and no, you probably shouldn't ask but of course i am sweet and innocent.

but mostly i found that i miss having people to hang with. it's a tossup - in college i didn't have my boy but i had a very close circle of friends, while here i have my boy and *drumroll* coworkers. i regret, sometimes, being the kind of person who doesn't form new associations easily - and i believe my close-friends roster is full anyway. i've hit quota. of course, i never get to see most of the integral parts of my social web. stupid other side of the country... if we lived in leichtenstein, this would not be an issue.

well, she grins jauntily, i'm up awfully awfully late - you know, for staid old evilstan who is wise in the ways of the world and never goes to bed after midnight anymore - and loving it, in mad defiance of needing to be at work and brainful at 8:30 tomorrow morning. or today. or whatever. i believe in the magic of being the only person up for blocks. it pulls at the corner of my mouth and makes me grin in that tricksy lopsided way that almost begs to have impish schemes rolling through my mind. not that i have impish schemes, but the mere fact of the grin is enough to prompt them.

i am knitting a green faux foxyfur stole, with googly eyes and wooly black ears. it is something that might be described as 'fun and funky,' but despite this i will not let my enthusiasm be dimmed - it's a piece of clothing that is green and fluffy and has googly eyes! i think the next project will be a greatcloak trimmed with faux fuschia ermines, like napoleon's robes of state except rainbow! or a sunshine yellow coonskin cap. the concept of flourescent ersatz animal garments is an excellent one and must needs be explored further.

my latest thoughts on the war - i try not to have them, but this one was too good to pass up and besides though spawned by gulf wars episode vi - the u.s. strikes back (to the future), it's really completely unrelated - is thusly: that years from now protester will be a federally recognized profession and will be bureaucratized and button-pushing as any other day job. and little children will want to be protesters when they grow up - either that or will place them in the same category as tax auditors. and there will be situations of extreme edge-of-your-seat irony when the protesters' union strikes for better working conditions - in doing so, will they hold a protest? tune in next week to find out! er.

this concludes this broadcast of evilstan staying up far too late and obviously needing to be kept far away from keyboards when she does so.

as promised, the fondue made it all better. yesterday was a good - if long - day. unfortunately today is looking less than rosy (tangent: had a dream about rosie this morning... rosie and casey, actually, casey being the last person i would expect to turn up in a dream), as i have a 3-hour shift with a positively beastly child. his name is vishnu, and unfortunately his parents - especially his mother - have a tendency to believe in his godlike propensities, e.g. 'he's so smart! he's such a well-behaved child!'... hah. hah, i say. fortunately, however, the first half of the shift is an overlap with a junior staff member so i can make her do all the work.

i'm also going to take this opportunity to say - i love you. if you're actually reading this you're (probably - unless you're a bay street person who stumbled upon my .mac account) one of those people who has a dedicated cubbyhole in my heart, with your name under it on a little brass plaque and everything. i generally suck at communicaction and keeping in touch and of course i'm on the wrong coast to actually see most of you, but i love you is one of the most important sentences in the english language and it doesn't get said often enough.

yesterday i called in not giving a shit for the second half of my day. well, technically i called in sick, but it was much more a metaphysical thing. so i came home and slept for four hours and then had a friend over for fondue - which, as everyone knows, fixes all ills. so hopefully i'll be feeling better about life today. we'll see.

but i have this to look forward to - next week i'm going to fly down to ojai for a few days. there's some paperwork that mom needs me to sign before she heads off to new york - durable power of attorney, that kind of thing - which is a lovely excuse to get to go home. also i'm going to take all those records i listened to constantly as a child and digitize them, because everybody needs kid songs on cd!

but anyway. i should be getting myself dressed so i can actually get out the door in time to get to my first client of the day. whoopie. only 8 more hours to go today.

today was going so well. but around about 7:30 i started feeling really homesick - i recently went on vacation for a week with mom and siblings, and it was so nice to be with everyone that this past week has been reminiscent of withdrawal. and then i was stupid stupid stupid and made the mistake of going to the website for the south coast paragliding association and reading the posts in the discussion about dad.

needless to say it's been a very rough evening.

so i'm going to try the blogger thing, in the hopes that if i don't have to hack (as in with a hacksaw, not as in hax0r) apart my html every time i want to update, i might actually update more frequently. i guess we'll see.

saw a movie called adaptation last night. interesting and fun and weird, though there was one part towards the end that just kind of broke me. one of those little innocent things that for some reason takes me back to the day we heard about dad. so i was the only person in the entire theater that spent the rest of the movie sobbing, which is a distinction i suppose.